How to Break Free from Emotional Eating: Why It's Normal & How to Deal With It

Navigating emotions may be the hardest part of being a human. Over the last couple of years, it's safe to say we have been collectively living in a particularly emotionally turbulent time.

In my work as a registered dietitian and nutrition therapist, I have certainly seen the use of disordered eating behaviors increase in attempts to manage hard emotions since the pandemic started.

Today, I'd like to talk specifically about emotional eating, a concept that is often misunderstood and unnecessarily seen as a shameful practice. If you've ever wondered how to break free from emotional eating, I hope this offers some clarity and comfort.

What Is Emotional Eating?

In short, emotional eating is when we eat to cope with difficult emotions and are not physically hungry. It's when we have already fed ourselves enough food and can (not always) sense our fullness in our bodies, and still reach for food anyways.

Every one of my clients who experiences emotional eating first looks at it as something that is bad and shameful, which makes sense, as we live in a culture that demonizes it. But when we step back and observe emotional eating as a natural behavior we use to help us cope with negative emotions like anxiety, loneliness, sadness, and anger, we can begin to let go of judgment. Instead, we can look at emotional eating through a kind, understanding lens. 

In fact, the science-based practice of Intuitive Eating devotes an entire principle to emotional eating, called "Cope with Emotions with Kindness." This is something I care deeply about in my work, because the way we relate to our eating habits matters just as much as what we eat.

Before we move onto exploring how to break free from emotional eating, I'd like to point out that eating out of emotion is not always because we are suffering.

Emotional eating also encompasses tradition and connection, all elements of life that are also emotional.

For example, I feel connected to my mother when I eat graham crackers with peanut butter, even though we live thousands of miles away from each other. This is because I grew up eating these foods with her, and we both get enjoyment and comfort from them. 

Each of us have foods that evoke emotional responses like this, whether it's during the holidays or on a random Tuesday. Using food this way is not something to be ashamed of. It's part of what makes eating a human experience.

How Do We Know If We Are Emotionally Eating?

Sometimes, deprivation-driven eating can be confused with emotional eating. For example, if someone misses lunch and ends up feeling ravenous and out of control around food by dinnertime, they are experiencing deprivation-driven eating and not emotional eating. 

It's tricky because deprivation-driven eating can feel quite emotional, with a sense of urgency and not knowing when or being able to stop eating.

On the flip side, we know it's emotional eating when we are nourished enough throughout the day, eating meals and snacks we enjoy at regular intervals, including all our food groups, feeling full and satisfied after eating, and still find ourselves wanting food. In other words, when food is no longer a physical need and we eat, we cross into emotional territory.

How to Break Free from Emotional Eating: Building Your Coping Toolbox

Emotional eating becomes a problem when we do not feel like we are choosing it or have other options to cope. Once we recognize emotional eating as a soothing or numbing mechanism, we have awareness and can understand that it is only one way to cope through hard feelings. 

There are a whole host of other coping tools to help us through hard emotional experiences, usually ones that are more effective at dealing with the source of the emotion than eating.

Ideally, we can develop a metaphorical toolbox we can turn to, knowing that food is one option but letting it be further down the list. Breaking free from emotional eating isn't about never reaching for comfort food again. 

It's about having enough options that food feels like a choice, not a compulsion. This is also an important part of developing a healthy relationship with body image, because when we feel more in control of our choices, the shame and guilt that often follow emotional eating begin to lose their grip.

For example, when I'm feeling sadness, I need comfort, so my toolbox typically looks like:

• A soothing mindfulness practice (see below for an example)

• Spending time with my dog and husband

• Taking a walk in the park

• And I might have something sweet and soft, like a chocolate chip cookie with some milk, because it is a comforting snack, and that's okay too

The key is that these are choices and food is not the only coping tool.

Other examples of coping mechanisms are writing in a journal, art projects, confiding in a trusted friend, going to therapy, listening to music, spending time in nature, moving our bodies, and practicing self-compassion. 

Give yourself permission to explore what actually feels good and soothing for you, because it will look different for everyone.

A Mindfulness Practice for Your Toolbox

Mindfulness is about being present with yourself and hard emotions without judgment. Here's a mindfulness practice to try when having a difficult emotional experience:

• Find a comfortable seat in a quiet space and place your hands gently on your thighs or knees, palms down.

• Close your eyes or lower your gaze and take a few slow breaths in and out through the nose.

• Keep awareness on the breath, and when the mind interrupts, simply notice and gently return. 

• Feel the connection of your hands to your legs, and of your feet or legs to the surface you are sitting on.

• See if you can identify where in the body you are feeling the emotion, and bring your awareness there. 

• Notice any colors, textures, or shapes associated with the emotion in this part of your body.

• Stay with your slow breaths and with your experience for at least a few more rounds of breath, then return to your breath, your feet on the floor, and open your eyes.

FAQs - Break Free From Emotional Eating

How do I break the cycle of emotional eating? 

Start by making sure you're adequately nourished throughout the day, since deprivation is often mistaken for emotional eating.

From there, build awareness around the emotions underneath the urge to eat, and gradually develop a coping toolkit with alternatives to food. Working with an eating disorder dietitian can also be a powerful support.

How can emotional eating habits be broken and a more positive relationship with food be formed? 

Slowly and with a lot of self-compassion. Changing long-standing eating habits doesn't happen overnight. It starts with removing judgment, understanding why the behavior exists in the first place, and building new coping tools alongside, not instead of, food. Therapy and nutrition counseling can be incredibly helpful in this process.

How do I manage emotional eating when I can't stop eating even when I'm full? 

This is more common than you might think, and it doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It often signals that food has become the primary coping tool, and the body is using it to soothe something that food can't fully fix.

Building awareness around what's happening emotionally in those moments, and gently introducing other coping strategies, is a good place to start. If it feels really out of control, please reach out for professional support.

How do I stop emotional eating when I'm depressed? 

Depression can make it much harder to access other coping tools because motivation and energy are already depleted. Be gentle with yourself here. Focus first on consistent nourishment throughout the day, since eating regularly supports mood and energy.

From there, even small coping tools like a short walk or a few minutes of mindfulness can begin to make a difference. Working with both a therapist and a dietitian who understand eating disorders and mental health together is often the most effective approach.

How can you deal with emotional eating without just being told to "just stop"? 

This question deserves a real answer because "just stop" is not how it works. Emotional eating serves a function. It's providing something, whether that's comfort, numbing, or distraction.

The goal isn't to white-knuckle your way out of it. It's to understand what it's doing for you and gradually give yourself other ways to meet that need. That takes time, support, and a lot of self-compassion.

How do I get away from stress eating? 

Stress eating is one of the most common forms of emotional eating, and it makes complete sense physiologically. Stress raises cortisol, which can increase appetite and cravings.

The most sustainable approach is managing stress at the source where possible, building a healthy coping toolkit, and making sure you're eating enough throughout the day so your body isn't also dealing with deprivation on top of stress.

Next Steps to Break Free From Emotional Eating

If you are experiencing emotional eating during hard emotional times, remember it is an entirely natural way of coping and you are certainly not alone.

The key is having more options in your coping toolbox and knowing that you are in the driver's seat, deciding which exit to take when a storm comes through.

If you need help finding peace with food, body, and movement, and want to learn more about how intuitive eating counseling can help, please reach out via our contact page.